Thursday, April 4, 2013

The curious case of house hunting!

Hi Bloggie!

Didn't write for so long...was busy...doing what?!.."House Hunting"!

Yes, was planning to vacant my current house...becoz my owner is an &*^@#$%...and the problem we are facing?! I cannot write them at this public forum, had a nasty fight with him last week as he was not paying any heed to our was enough.

So, the house hunting begins...little did we knew what's lying ahead of us.

We tried to hunt the area on our own looking for 1 BHK TO-LET board! sun decided to be kind enough and showered all his love on us...the heat was unbearable  we some how manage to roam the entire area with juice and coke breaks in between..1 bhk house chirag leke dhundho ge to bhi nai milega!

Tired, dejected, we came back, opened justdial and ringed all the brokers in the area...the answers were expected...Maddamm, therr iss noo 1 BHK available ein thess aerra!

we were not the one to lose hope so soon! we kept the hunt on and here are few observations made on the behavior of all those owners.

1. Family means papa, mummy and one bacha; two sisters staying together is not a family(my case), and yes, husband and wife staying together are couple and not to be mistaken as a family.

2. You should not have any friends, people coming to your house,specially guys, bestows you with the cult status of "SLUT".

3.  They want contact number of your entire "khandhan", and ya your previous owner as if the word "Terrorist" is plastered on our puppy face.

4. Out of the average 10 owners I met, 8 had this animated line "We want strictly vegetarians tenants"(Oops!..I am hardcore non veg and don't even know the correct spelling of vegetarian, in case of this blog, google ji-kisses!)..I would have digested this in ok, your house your rules, fine!
but the reasoning  for vegetarians tenants is, our neighbors are all doctors, CAs, Lawyers, and we don't want bad name among them-as if neighbors don't have any better work other than checking what's inside my dustbin!

The climax of our hunt was the "would-be-owner-we-met" yesterday afternoon, an old guy, had this beautiful house under construction  as in the finishing stages, we loved it so much that we even dreamed the interiors of every room; the guy asked us to come in the evening to discuss the rent and contract. In the evening, we were  singing" jhumping jhapang jhumpak jhumpak, thumping thapank thampak thampak, gili gili chu" ( eyye, IPL theme song) dancing like farah khan we reached " our-soon-to be-house, the would-be-owner asked us to take our seat,

We waited for 10 min, 15 min, 20 min, he is not saying anything, curiously I said, Sir, can we discuss the contract now? Maa, wait, my entire family is coming to meet you! he said...errr what?!...why?!
I exclaimed "Entire family"! ...for which his answer was, Maa they want to see what kind of girl is taking the house!( what kind??). Me and my sister stared each other dresses and started fearing for the worst.

The family arrived, grandma, grandpa, mummy, two sons, daughter in law, daughter and her husband, kids and driver...phew!

Interrogation starts!
Q. Young lady, whats your full name?
A. sir, roli and neha yadav.
Q. Papa and Mummy name ?
A. S.N.S.Yadav and late R.Yadav.
Q. Your mother is no more?How come?
A. (haaa!!!) is this a question to be asked?!
Q. What is your caste maa?
A. (my eyebrow raised) Iam yadav sir!
Q. oho acha! what's your gotra?
A. (Wondering, what that has to do with house contract) I dono sir!
Q. You dono your gotra??!!( I got scared, for a second,he resembled dakuu mangal singh) are you non vegetarian?
A. Yes sir.(tangdi kabab ke bina bache ki jaan loge kya?!)
Q. look we are looking for pakka  VEGETARIAN(he sounded like gabbar singh with a riffle...seriously!) Do you drink Alcohol or smoke?!
A. Nooo sir!(My eye balls came out and I remember neha scratching my hand)
Q. Do you and your sister have boyfriend? how many?
A. I chuckled No sir...we don't have ANY BF( I saw him smiling with a sense of relief?! if every body standing outside your house, sleeps wid you!)
Q. Do you have music system? you are not supposed to play loud music.
Q. Look, young lady, we want someone who is a family person, who is vegetarian and off course does not drink!( boyfriend, are you kidding me, he will die!)
A. Sister for the first time murmured "Yes sir"...I was too shocked to react!
Q. And yes, did I mention, the advance will be Rs. 200000!!
A. My mouth open in shock(watt?!) bhai saheb, you want me to pay you this hefty amount to stay in a jail? I would rather murder someone and stay for free.
Q. Are you ok with these terms you lady?
A. Ummmm sir, we will see....(my sister whispered, di, bhagoo jaldi! matlab jaldi!)

We told him sir we will cal you by 9 pm and switched off our phones and did "bhag bhag DK bose, DK bose, bhag bhag DK bose bhag"!...when we  switched on our respective phones, each one of us had 20 something missed calls!

We sincerely pray that he gets tenant according to his "choice", in a students area!

No bf/gf, vegetarian, no music,knows his caste, creed, color, religion and region!

basically who is a "bore"!

Mein aur choti uss khubshurat ghar mein?...pagal ho kya??..ab to free mein bhi doge to bhi bhag jaenge!

bhagwan bachaye uss ghar ke tenants ko!


  1. Haha.. So much drama for just room.. sheesh.. where are you looking at btw?

  2. shanku...wer else!...our very own ramaiah...didnt find anything...its was a rolller coaster ride....finally iam shifting in a hostel....:-(

    1. You tried looking in Sanjay Nagar?The house naveen used to stay at.. pata?

    2. shanku...ramaiah has totally changed...bloody posh now...all 2bhk available even in sanjay nagar...dat was to big n expensive for me!

  3. omg.. y dey askd abt ur gotra n caste..seriously sometyms we life shows crazy people.. :P

    1. ya niks...wen ur time is bad u get such leg was paining for the next 1 week.