Wednesday, September 10, 2014

The descendance of god "The new iphone".

Disclaimer: this blog is for humor purpose and I don't have any intention to hurt the feeling of "iphone" lovers.

I woke late to this day of utmost importance, not that I was crashing in some drain from the last night hangover. I have a habit of over sleeping unless my back starts hurting or I am shit hungry. I was ignorant of the mind boggling fact that the world was about to change today, for better or worse. It was bright sunny Wednesday like another day with the same old traffic, same old work life. It was just another day for me until I realized it wasn't.

I sat on my desk munching on the Apple( I mean the fruit here, calm down!), which I had bought from "Bigbasket" and switched on my computer. Now you and me are secretly aware of the fact that nobody in today's world starts working unless they have scanned there Facebook timeline for the day. You never know what precious information will you miss in those eight hours of sleep you had last night. Its very difficult to catch up with the fast moving life of today's and Facebook as we all know is the new newspaper.

The facebook login page was right in front of me and I entered my username and password. I was blissfully unaware of the fact that my world was about to change in the new few seconds. I pressed the login button on the page displayed and Hallelujah! what the hell just happened?! The world  indeed has change in the past few hours. People across the globe were screaming, shouting, howling and bursting in tears of joy that the god has finally descended on this planet and they felt extremely humbled and grateful to be alive and healthy to witness this moment of true significance. The god was named by my fellow humans as "iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 plus".

Hmmm...iphone?!! I grumbled. What a strange name this god has got as if all the other names are banned? Till yesterday we had gods like ganeshji, shivji, Jesus Christ, Allah and many other with such beautiful and meaningful names but and in today's world its called an "iphone"? Really? how sad is that for a god to have a name like that?!

I crushed my luck and fate for again missing such an moment of historic and godly importance; the previous one? when ganesh ji had started drinking milk all over the country. Don't believe me, ask any of your Indian friends! you will get the whole story.

 My disappointment knew no bounds. I apologized to the dear god "iPhone" for my ignorance and started to Google out other pages on the internet to gain some more information about our new god! I browsed the pages of news websites, blog pages and twitter reactions, all of them were talking about this god but the discussions seemed to be like praising the features of a mobile phone unlike the divine qualities of a god which we all knew.

I couldn't take up this feeling of guilt and confusion anymore. I decided to check up with my friends and colleagues in a hope to find out if there are any other "humans"on this planet as ignorant as me, until i realized there were none. I was the most stupidest, dumbest and non tech savvy person of this century. The apple I was eating ( I mean the fruit, again) fell from my hands, my blood seems to freeze in my veins and my heart beat decreased. The god everyone is busy talking about since yesterday is indeed a "Phone" and not some new god descending from heaven or as shown in our bollywood movies. holy crap!

Is there a rumor again that world is ending in November 2014? I whispered to my colleague who was wearing a high power reading glasses and was busy reading the pages of mashable, huffington post, new york times and many more to gain as much information on this newly launched "phone".

His eyes were still glued on the monitor but he answered "Not that I know, why are you asking that?

Because everyone is going gaga over the mere launch of a phone, as if they have nothing else to do. I muttered munching on my last bite of the Apple(fruit again) which I could afford. Today its an "Apple" phone, tomorrow it will be a "Blackberry" phone? what's the big deal anyway?!

Pardon me! my colleague turned his face away from the monitor and look up to me. A look which was enough to freeze what ever blood I had left in my body. What did you just said can you repeat that? he fumed. For your information sweetheart its not just another phone, its an "iPhone". he screamed out loud. People like you have no idea how significant this day is! I have been anxiously waiting since last year for the launch of this "iPhone" and in fact have mortgaged my car to buy this gadget of a lifetime. He snatched tissue from my hand to wipe that droplet of tears flinking from the corner of his eyes. I want October 17 to come soon when this model debuts in India. I am so excited. I hope to the first person in my friend circle to own this phone. You don't know what this means to me. Its not just a phone, its proves my cool and trendy status in this society. He gleed in perfection with all his teeths smiling in union.

You do? I murmured while getting my senses back. I just have one question "Can this phone allows me to make a call to the real "god" the one we actually believes descends from heaven?!

Daaaa! its an iPhone! you cant talk about it like that! you are hurting my feelings by demeaning this glorious piece of handset and an "essence of me". Shut upOk?!

I am sure it is darling till the day some other "phone" decides to rule the market!

Until then! its not  just a phone its an "iphone". Remember that!

No comments:

Post a Comment